The price of being a Black woman nobody diagnosed
We often realise what we missed out on when it is too late! That is what happened to me. I recently handed my prescription for ADHD medication to a pharmacist, expecting relief. Instead, I was told that I would have to pay out of pocket for my medication because I was diagnosed after the age of 18. In that moment, I felt a wave of injustice that I could not shake. Somehow, it was my fault that I fell into the statistics of women and girls who go undiagnosed because our symptoms do not match the stereotype of a young boy bouncing off the walls.
Somehow, it was my fault that I was raised by immigrant parents, in a home where “bouncing off the walls” was not an option, where you did not dare risk upsetting your elders. Somehow, it was my fault that doctors never paused to consider my race or culture when assessing my behaviour. Somehow, it was my fault that I got excellent grades (thanks to the tight ship my mother ran) and that success became the reason no one looked closer. I did it all on hard mode, without knowing that my identity, my race, my culture, and my gender were part of the reason I never got the care I needed. No one noticed the struggle because I was seen as a “strong Black woman.”
No one noticed because I was not allowed to look like I was struggling in the first place. People who look like me do not get to make mistakes; we do not get to ask for help. At least, that is what I learned from the people around me. Growing up, only white kids were allowed to be “depressed” or to have ADHD, because it does not matter what problem you have; your immigrant parents probably walked it in kilometres, times ten. That is okay now. I have made peace with the years I lost doing everything the hard way. Now, it is time we, as a society, decide that systems should be designed in a way that Black people and gender minorities are not the ones paying the price for generational trauma.
This blog post is part of the ARM project. The ARM project is an international project designed to explore the complex layers of racial and gender discrimination through the power of storytelling, art, and narrative research. Our goal is to create practical tools that support the mental health and empowerment of racialised and LGBTIQ youth.
At its core, the project looks beyond individual incidents of racism or discrimination. Instead, we’re interested in the hidden, often unspoken emotional impact these experiences leave behind — how they shape a young person’s sense of self, confidence, and well‑being.
Across Europe, race and gender still strongly influence who feels safe, heard, and valued. Yet the mental health effects of racism, gender discrimination, and internalised racism are rarely discussed, even though they deeply affect racialised and LGBTIQ young people. ARM aims to change that by creating spaces where youth can share their lived experiences and see their stories reflected, respected, and understood.
